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“YOU DON’T have enough points, sir” – he sounded indignant, but I wasn’t about to lose this fight.
“Yes, I do. Check it again.” I was mad. And I insisted that he check it again, and again.
“I’ve heard about scams like this. Where they hook you in. Get you to buy a bunch of stuff you don’t need, or want, just to get the points. Then you have all these points – these stupid points! That you can’t use for a damn thing!
“Sir, please don’t take that tone with me. You just don’t have enough. Not at this time. But if you wait a little longer, or simply purchase one or more of th—”
“Oh, no, not this again. Next, you’re gonna tell me that the points I have are gonna expire if I don’t collect more in time. If I don’t USE them in time. But you people make it impossible to use them!”
“Well, actually . . .”
“What?! Oh, no, no, no, NO! They better NOT expire! That is the biggest rip-off ever! I didn’t even want those extra boxes of cereal! Are you kidding me? And who needs to buy three bottles of juice at once?! And it had to be that half-the-sugar-half-the-taste crap too. I’ll tell you what. You take my points away, and YOU can reimburse me for all of those damn groceries I didn’t need!”
“Sir, you can use your points for other things, you can transfer them, for examp—”
“Transfer them? Transfer them! To something ELSE that I can’t use? You’ve got to be kidding me. Just let me talk to your manager. There is no reason I should yell at you any longer.”
He sighed and told me that his manager had gone home for the day. He said I could call back tomorrow and speak with her. That sounded like fun, I’d said. Sure, I’ll call tomorrow and wait ANOTHER 20 minutes for someone to answer my call. And then re-explain our current conversation because by tomorrow, there will be no record of it.
“You are just hoping that I’ll forget to call,” I’d said. “Or, that I’ll just give up. But I won’t. No, I absolutely will not.”
He made it quite clear that it was not his intention to rip me off. At least he tried. But I knew better! I had read all those conspiracy theory articles. You know, the ones where they pretend that a UFO didn’t really land in New Mexico, and isn’t being STILL held hostage in Area 51. And that other UFO landing they said is real, but it’s not – they completely faked the aliens hiding to conceal their chemical weapons! Then there was the CIA’s mind control program — Project McBrain or MKULTRA or something – where they did all those secret experiments on American citizens. And you know as well as I do that those organic farms are where they grow illegal pot!
Yeah – I was well versed in all those shenanigans. They would NOT be pulling the wool over MY eyes, not anymore!
When he sighed again, I knew I was getting somewhere.
“Sir, there must be a way that we can resolve this.”
I knew if I kept him on the phone long enough, he’d give in.
“Please let me tell you, Sir — it’s very simp—”
“Don’t patronize me,” I insisted. It was the last thing I said before my mind drifted off.
How did I get talked into making this phone call anyway? My wife usually dealt with this kind of thing! It was my card, she said, so I had to call.
“Well, Sir, if you call back tomorrow, then perhaps my Manager can help”.
“I thought so,” I’d said. “Sure. Whatever. I’ll just call back.” Then, just as I was about to hang up, I stopped.
“Hello? You know what? I’ll have my wife call you tomorrow!”