THURSDAY: Another Friday Night


Copyright is held by the author.

VALETA HEARD the distinct crunch of a heavy boot upon the hard, kernel snow.

The heat from her large coffee suddenly lost its pathway of conductivity from the mug to her bare hands and a chill ran through her body. Her torso shivered and tensed. Her heart missed a beat as it leapt into her throat.

She smelled the pungent aroma of a cigar and heard two quick shallow breaths. A heavy hand grabbed the shoulder of her thick coat and tugged her backwards.

Valeta didn’t resist. She spun around quickly on the heels of her calf-length leather boots and tossed her hot coffee upwards. She drove her knee forward with all the force that she could muster on the slippery surface. The knee was locked on and targeted for her assailant’s groin.

Her eyes opened wide as she watched the splayed trail of her coffee streak towards the starry sky, missing the targeted facial area. Her knee did not sink into a pair of testicles as planned but instead struck the solar plexus with a force so hard that she heard a rib cage breaking apart. A deep, clenched-teeth groan erupted and wouldn’t quit.

The attacker, all five-foot-two of him, buckled over clutching his abdomen. Valeta’s knee reloaded and landed a solid hit that drove the bone in the attacker’s nose right up into his nasal cavity. Her right hand followed through with a quick, violent karate chop to the side of his neck.

As her assailant slumped upon the sidewalk, Valeta grabbed his coat collar and hauled his shuttering body across the snow-packed surface. She had him lying on his back and hidden behind a large spruce tree. She watched as his eyes pleaded for mercy.

The assailant hoped that Valeta was done with her business but instead she was about to have her way with him.

The toe of Valeta’s boot made sure the goon’s scrotum would be swollen and sore for weeks. She had quickly nailed him twice in the warm spot before his legs went rigid and prevented a third strike. As the attacker grabbed his groin and screamed, Valeta bent down and flushed his eyeballs with pepper spray.

She pulled her cell phone out of her coat pocket and called her roommate.

“Hey Jenny, it’s me. We can have a visitor again tonight. Are you okay with that?”

  1. The premise, the reason for this ultra short eludes me. The ending baffled me. The change in POV near the end was unnecessary. Organic writing has its drawbacks.

  2. And the reason for the gratuitous violence was……….

  3. The rising action and character builds towards a suspenseful climax. Interesting and exciting..

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