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I LOVE this part! Well, truth is, I love every part because that’s what I do; love. That’s who I am. But, I have to say, this part is pretty darn cool. I am a fetus forming. I’m floating, man, part in, part out. I have entered the womb of my host and am participating in the creation of a most beautiful little being. I’m going for a girl again. Not that I didn’t enjoy being a man. But, I don’t know, female is just so much more exotic and complex. I love that. Anyway, it’s not like I’m all in; one baby girl and nothing more. I couldn’t possibly squeeze into one human being. Nor could I satisfy my needs in just one dimension. God, no! For the time being, however, I am focusing on this particular fetus; little fingers forming, toes sprouting; a featureless alien tethered by a biological chord to one who will serve as mother.
I’ve selected very carefully, the history and genetics of my host and should make it through in good shape. That’s the plan anyway. I know, ha ha, if you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans, right? It’s true, there is always room for the unexpected. I mean, there have been surprisingly short missions . . . abortion, still-born . . . it happens. But I’m pretty sure this time will be smooth sailing. And, as I said, I’m not ALL in. I . . . the Greater I will be needed to guide this little girl from here. It’s just the way it works. Right now, we know who we are and and why. There is no confusion. The greater I and the baby i are one. Within this female’s womb, I carry all the knowledge of the cosmos. I know the great source from which I come. I know the Light, in all it’s vibrant and pulsating hues. Though, already, my consciousness of being others is fading. For this new girl, all energy is being channelled into becoming. As it must be.
I remember when I chose to depart from my last body. It was getting older. Not decrepit or malfunctioning, it just wasn’t running at premium capacity. Little bits were showing signs of wear and really, mission, for that span, accomplished! But, oh dear, the grief! Friends and loved ones, (I’d gathered quite a few) were just so sad when I left. Obviously they’d forgotten the process. Their years beyond the womb had left them forgetful, which is pretty typical. Some thought my departure was way too soon. But, in fact, the timing was right on. I was rather excited to get back… just about as excited as I am now, coming through again. It’s sort of a Jacob’s Ladder thing.
Oh yeah, I’m gonna be a girl! She’s going to be smart and she’s going to be pretty. We’ve planned it that way. And, when we first come through, we’re bringing everything with us; everything from the light, from other lives… a complete consciousness. The great cosmic joke is; we won’t be able to communicate these gifts to anyone on the other side. In their chosen forms, all of them are reduced to relying on speech for communication. And, well, new babies, with all that knowledge to share, cannot speak. There’s a story about that. Goes like this:
When a baby comes from the great beyond into human form, she carries all the secrets of the universe with her. But before she comes through, an angel presses it’s finger gently to the baby’s lips and whispers “shhhh!”. That is where the little divot under our nose comes from, the philtrum . I love that story, of course I do!
I’ve chosen 1952, as my entry date. I did that same one, last time and I really think I can kick it up a notch, this time through. I know my brother won’t be taking this shift. His last run wasn’t a whole lot of fun. So he’s opted to stay in kinder times for now. He just couldn’t get on top of his game, no matter how hard he tried. The memory of his true self got totally fogged out. I felt sad for him (the little i, that is), because there was really nothing I could do. It was his mission.
However, I’m pretty sure my sister will come through. We both agreed, way back, that we wanted to ride through as sisters again. It was so good the last time and, I’ll tell you, in the darker times, that inevitably arise, it’s such a comfort to have somebody there who really knows, you know? Sometimes you get a sibling and you don’t recognize them for nuttin’! They are just parked in your life, for some reason you may never comprehend and you just do your best to work around them. Even when you depart and go back home, you might never have that mystery illuminated. C’est la vie. Such was the case with my other brother… a complete mystery! We did not bond in the light. Often, I couldn’t see his light at all, it was so dim.
Ah, but my baby sister. Instant recognition! Nobody had to tell me I’d made a vow to look after her. It was a responsibility I embraced. I knew she was coming and couldn’t wait for the big day of her arrival. Even in that life, we used to ponder the possibility that we were two rays of the same light, two fragments of the same spirit and even now, while still fully in my wisdom, I cannot say for sure. All I know is we had a great run together and I am fully expecting her to show up again.
Of course, I cannot determine all the particulars that will be waiting for me, out there. That’s where the element of suspense comes in. Some arrangements have been made, sure, like this mother I have chosen and the male that will serve as father. Will he be kind? Oh, I am hoping. I tried really hard, the last time, to get clear, in my heart around him, so we wouldn’t have to replay all that drama again. Man, that was hard! But, I guess I’ll find out soon enough.
Men in 1952 are very different from men in 2020. They do evolve, thank the light! They are different again in 1867. I was male in that dimension. My brother and I fought in the civil war. and you know?, in my ’52 life, as female, I had a bleed through. I smelled the gun fire, I felt the fear and I heard myself, as male, cry out for my brother, when he was shot. It gave me chills, as a girl. It caused me to pulse brilliant red from here.
I had other bleed-throughs in that life. Some of them were just from hours or days ahead, on the linear time line. Some of them seemed so insignificant, at the time that I wondered why I would even need such irrelevant information. Silly things like who was going to appear on a talk show the next night. I never got anything big, like a lottery. That would have been fun! I did get one biggie. I fully experienced the suicide of one of my friends. She just popped right into my head and gave me all her thoughts, including her decision to jump in front of a train. The thing of it is, I was not very adept at reading these things then. I was literate enough to know the thoughts were being sent from elsewhere. But I didn’t know where they were coming from or what I should do. So she jumped and the little i was left to wonder. The incident certainly gave me greater remembrance of the big I, guided me to be closer and more responsive to my larger self. That’s the key, you know, staying in touch or getting in touch with your larger self. It was a long and winding road that got me within shouting distance, last time. But then I realized that there are many incarnates who never get even halfway near that! Some don’t even try. Unimaginable! My plan is to listen a little more closely and act with swiftness. Often times, before, I didn’t listen or chose to ignore the information. Then I’d get myself in a big mess and cry out to the Light for help, which it always did. But what a lot of work for the big I, always having to pick up and brush off the little i. I’m hoping to work in greater harmony, this time. It will really enhance my mission if I do that.
Hmmm, either this womb is shrinking or I . . . well of course . . . I’m growing. It won’t be long now. I think she’s sitting down more often. I think I can hear her singing to me. That’s nice. I love music, in all its forms. The music of the spheres is rapturous! Really quite indescribable, because it is a vibration, right? Not all vibrations have words to match. That’s why there is music. I especially love the music of the late 1960s and early ‘70s. So creative! So emotional! Such a tool for bonding. So many gifted carriers of that vibration shoot through rather quickly. They use their bodies to maximum production to give these brilliant flashes of sound, that momentarily remind everybody of the Source and then they leave. Short missions, but mighty ones too. Again, there is always such sorrow when they depart. Yet, I know, they would love nothing more than jubilant celebration of their existence.
There was great celebration when I left home base, those few short months ago. All my beautiful connected ones, the wiser ones, my technicolor tribe were just bouncing with joy. So excited to see me off, they out-danced the Northern Lights. I can still see those undulating waves of light, emanating colour and sound that reached way out into the cosmos, announcing to the all that is, I was going in again.
They reassure me. Like I said, there is the element of suspense. And I won’t try to pretend I didn’t have my moments of hesitation, my “what-ifs”. What if my father is a beast? What if my mother can’t care for me? What if I forget who I am? What if I can’t find my way back? We all have some trepidation. But that’s why we are so large and omnipresent. We, of the light, look out for one another. “We will be right there with you”, they reminded me… “every step of the way. You’re going to do just fine.” Within the celebrations is great kindness and preparation. There is LOVE. How could I ever forget? And yet, we do.
Wow, the pressure in here is intense! Squeeze a little harder, why don’t you! I’ve got to get out of this place (as if I have any choice). The ejection process has begun and the little i am about to begin. Ciao for now, my sweet and cozy chamber. Catch you on the flip side, my beautiful guardians. Look out 1952, here I come!